You are enough; with or without Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day—what do those two words bring up for you? For me, they come with a long list of "shoulds": I should be happy, should be in love, I should buy a present, find the perfect card, plan something special. I should be thoughtful, be grateful—even for that last-minute bunch of garage flowers. Ugh. It feels like being told what to do. No, thanks.

It’s just another task added to the never-ending to-do list that comes with adulting. Couldn’t we show appreciation for our partners every day? Why do we need a specific date for it? And what if you don’t feel appreciative on the 14th? What if you’re single? Or—shockingly—happily single, while the world insists you should be in a relationship?

““Valentine’s Day has a way of stirring things up.”

Valentine’s Day has a way of stirring things up. It may highlight what we have, what we don’t, and what we wish we had. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, navigating all the emotions around it can feel overwhelming. If Valentine’s Day brings you more anxiety than joy, you are not alone.

Under Pressure!

Valentine’s Day comes with a lot of societal expectations; the pressure to be in a relationship, to make romantic gestures, to spend money, or to feel loved in a very specific way. Advertisements, social media, family and friends can leave you feeling like you’re not good enough or you should be doing something different. If you’re struggling with anxiety, it can heighten the comparisons you make with others, self-doubt and leave you feeling overwhelmed.

If you're in a relationship but not in the best place right now, the pressure of planning a date—or even deciding if you want to celebrate at all—can add to the stress.  If you’re single you might feel frustrated that the world is telling you, you should be in a relationship when you don’t want to be! Or you might feel lonely or feel you are missing out.

How to get through Valentine’s Day

Maybe Valentine’s needs a reframe? A tweak to your perspective could make all the difference.  Love isn’t just for romance – it’s about connection, kindness and care – for yourself and for others.

1. Practice Self-Care

Valentine’s Day is a great time to nurture yourself. Engage in activities that bring you joy—whether that’s taking a walk, reading, listening to music, or enjoying a favourite treat.  Maybe spend some time journalling about the good stuff in your life right now, or reflect on where you’d like to be next Valentine’s Day.  Practicing self-care can help move you away from external pressure and focus on what’s important to you.

2. Redefine What Valentine’s Day Love Means

Love comes in many forms—friendship, family, and even appreciating the world around you.  Celebrate the love in your life that extends beyond romance. A simple call to a friend or taking your dog on his favourite walk can be just as meaningful as traditional Valentine’s Day gestures.

3. Set Boundaries with Social Media

Depending on what you’re following, social media might make you feel worse, consider taking a break for the day.  Social media is often a highlight reel rather than the reality of life, comparing yourself to others could cause your anxiety to skyrocket. Instead try to focus on real-life connections and things that help you feel good.

4. Accept Your Feelings

If Valentine’s Day is a difficult time for you, acknowledge those emotions without judgment. It’s okay to feel anxious, lonely, or overwhelmed. Suppressing feelings can increase stress, but allowing yourself to process them—through journaling, talking to a friend, or maybe a counselling session might help bring relief.

5. Create Your Own Traditions

You’re in charge! If you want to mark the day, why not create your own traditions? Have a self-care night, spend time with friends or do some volunteering.  By making the day your own you take back control from all those expectations.

“You are enough—just as you are. Your worth is not defined by a single day or anyone else’s expectations”

A Reminder: You Are Enough

However, you choose to spend Valentines Day, remember your worth or your relationship is not defined by a single day or anyone else’s expectations.  You are good enough just as you are. Looking after yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself.

If you’re feeling particularly anxious or overwhelmed, consider seeking support.   If you’d like to talk with me and find out how I can support you please let me know using the button below.